


You Miss Them Like You Miss No Other

by pitchblackkoi



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, POV Second Person, Polyamory, Reader-Insert, Relationship Negotiation, Two Shot, bed sharing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-02 18:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8677396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pitchblackkoi/pseuds/pitchblackkoi
Summary: Life with superheroes is not easy. It comes with anxiety and nightmares. When you have a nightmare where you two favorite supersoldiers are in danger, you need to make sure they are okay afterwards. This leads to a few questions.





	1. Being Blue Is Better Than Being Over It

_ It’s the middle of a fight. There’s fire and wreckage everywhere. The sides of Stark Tower have been so destroyed there’s nothing between the ledge and a huge drop. You are crying and confused. You don’t remember how you ended up here or what happened but you know that there’s danger and that you are alone. There’s shooting outside and yelling and chaos and you don’t even know why but you know that it’s bad. _

_ With the sudden feeling that just sitting where you are isn’t going to help anyone, you stand and walk down the nearest hallway in hopes of finding someone so you won’t be alone. The hallway is as wrecked as everything else and your leg is injured so you’re limping but everything is going to be okay if you can just find- _

_ “Hey!” a voice shouts from the end of the hallway.  _

_ You look up and, god, it’s Steve and you know everything is going to be fine.  _

_ He scoops you up into his arms and you laugh, “Steve, I’m so happy to see you!” _

_ “Me, too,” he grins down softly at you.  _

_ Something suddenly occurs to you. “Where’s Bucky?”  
_ _ "Right here!” comes a voice from behind you. _

_ You turn and, sure enough, there is Bucky Barnes in full tactical gear grinning down at you. You rush into his arms. _

_ “Bucky!” you yell. “I am so fucking glad to know you boys are okay.” _

_ Bucky presses a kiss to the side of your head, “Of course we are, doll. We’ll always be okay.”  _

_ You smile at your boys, glad to see they’re alive and well, until suddenly there’s an explosion from one of the lower floors of the building. You panic immediately, curling in on yourself and making your body as small as possible. _

_ Steve’s soothing voice snaps you out of it, “Hey, you have to get up so we can get you somewhere safe.” _

_ You blink up at the two men and realize what’s happened, “Yeah, sorry.” _

_ “S’okay, doll. It’s completely understandable,” Bucky assures. _

_ Steve levels you with a serious look, “Don’t let go of my hand. I’ll keep you safe.” _

_ You nod and grip his hand. The two of you keep walking like that, Bucky taking the front to make sure the way is clear. Everything seems like it’s going to be okay until suddenly it isn’t. _

_ Some alien jumps out behind you and tackles Steve. He slides across the floor and Bucky quickly takes out the creature but it’s too late. Steve has slid off of the ledge of the building. You are holding on still, still holding his hand, but god he is heavy and you aren’t strong and you don’t know how long you can keep it up. Steve is already slipping. _

_ “No, no,” you shout hysterically.  _

_ Then he slips from your fingers and falls. _

_ Your head is already spinning and you look over at Bucky. _

_ Bucky is being attacked by one of those things. You are trying to think quickly, what can you do and then it rips out his throat and there is blood everywhere and Bucky is dead. _

 

You snap into consciousness, screaming. You don’t even think, you just get to your feet. You have to get down the hall, to the boys. You have to make sure they’re alright. 

Nothing is processing as you throw the blankets off of your body and rush out the door, bleary-eyed and panicking. You practically run down the hall to the room you’ve been to so many times before. 

Face to face with the door, you don’t even hesitate before knocking frantically. They need to open the door, they need to be okay.

The door flings open, revealing a confused and tired Steve Rogers. You immediately wraps your arms around him, “You’re okay. You’re okay. You didn’t fall. You’re okay.”

He slowly returns the hug, “Yeah, I’m fine. Me and Buck were just-”

You let go of them man, frantic again, “Bucky! Oh my god, tell me that-”

Bucky is now worriedly walking towards them, “Yeah, doll, I’m right here.”

You launch yourself at him now. Bucky immediately returns the hug, throwing a confused look at Steve, who just shrugs, wide-eyed.

Bucky directs you to the bed and sits both of you down, “Babe, you’re gonna have to tell me what’s wrong because I’m drawing a blank here.”

“I- I had this dream and we were under attack and Steve fell and I- god, I tried to pull him back up but he was too heavy and I wasn’t strong enough and he-” you are cut off by a wrack of sobs that you can’t stop. Bucky rubs your back and you continue, “Then I turned around to see if you were okay and it- the thing ripped your fucking throat out, Buck. I was distracted and it fucking killed you!”

You start sobbing again, more vigorously now that you’ve gotten the whole story out. Bucky hugs you to his chest and you cling tightly to him. Steve kneels in front of the bed, rubbing your back.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Steve whispers. “I’m fine. I didn’t fall. Bucky is okay, too. We’re safe.”

Bucky pulls away from your hug a little bit and stretches out his neck, “See? Completely in tact. I’m alive and well. No need to worry.” 

You put a tentative hand to his throat, feeling his pulse under your fingers. You give a small smile, “You are okay.”

“Course I am! I’m pretty hard to kill, just ask Steve,” he says with a wry smile.

Steve laughs a little, “It’s true. It would take more than some alien to take him out.”

“You’re fucking right it would,” he affirms. 

You give a lopsided smile, “Well, I’ll get out of your hair then-” 

Bucky tugs you back down, “What makes you think we’re letting you go that easy?”

“No, I’m fine. I just needed to kno-”

Steve sits on your other side, “You came to our door sobbing. It’s gonna take a little more than that to convince us you’re good to go.”

You look down at your hands in your lap, “It’s really nothing. It was just a worse nightmare than usual. Nothing to bother anyone with.”

Bucky’s eyebrows knit together, “Are you saying you have nightmares regularly? How come this is the first we’ve heard of it?”

You freeze, realizing what you’ve revealed. They weren’t supposed to find out about the nightmares. You were just supposed to make sure your boys were okay and go back to your room and wait it out until you could fall asleep again.

“Sweetheart,” Steve starts quietly. “Just how often do you have nightmares?”

You mumble an answer.

“Can’t hear you, doll,” Bucky prompts.

“Just, like, three or four times a week but I’m f-”

“Are you saying that you lose sleep for most of the week?” Steve replies, shocked. “And we’re only just hearing about it?”

You shrug, “Everyone in the Tower has gone through way worse than me so I didn’t want to bother anyone.”

Bucky looks annoyed as he sticks a finger in your face, “Let’s get a couple things straight here. One, you are never ever bothering us. We care about you and we want to know what’s going on in your life. Two, pain is never a contest. Take it from us.”

Tears spring into your eyes again, “I just- You guys have been through so much and I didn’t want-”

“Hey, hey,” Steve shushes you. “You will never be a burden. It’s a privilege to know you and care about you.”

You all sit with arms around each other as you cry again. Steve rubs your back and Bucky whispers sweet and encouraging things into your ear. Eventually things settle down and you’re only sniffling. 

“How about you stay for tonight?” Bucky suggests.

“I couldn’t-”

“No, I think it’s a good idea,” Steve agrees. “We’ll be right there so you can rest easy. Nothing will hurt any of us. We’ll keep each other safe.”

After a moment of hesitation you quietly agree. It sounds really nice, having your boys right there to protect and assure you. 

You lay in the bed, a super soldier on either side of you. You puts your face into Bucky’s neck as he hugs you to his chest. Steve is behind you, one arm draped over you and Bucky. You all fall asleep like that and sleep soundly until morning.


	2. My Life Started The Day I Got Caught

You come to reluctant consciousness with the feeling that something is off. The mattress feels different than your own. Nicer. But it could just be the one that you use when you stay in the Tower. But you are abnormally warm. It almost feels like you are being crushed between two bodies but that doesn’t-

Suddenly you remember everything that happened last night. Your eyes shoot open and you are face to face with Steve Rogers. His hair is mussed with sleep and he has pillow creases on his cheek and his eyes are bright blue in the morning light. He is also looking right at you. 

Steve smiles upon seeing that you are awake. “Morning,” he says, voice rough with sleep.

“Morning,” you reply. You don’t know what to do now. Should you leave? It feels like you should leave. 

Just as you are about to say something you hear a groan from behind you and the arm around your waist (holy shit when did that get there?) tightens while a face is buried into the nape of your neck. Oh shit, that must be Bucky. Well, he has never been a morning person.

Steve gives a wry smile that says he is thinking the same thing. “Sleep well?”

You rub your eyes a little and nod, “Yeah. After everything I just kinda crashed.”

“I’m glad. After that nightmare you deserved a good night’s rest,” Steve says with a soft smile. 

“Yeah, that was a particularly shitty one,” you admit. “I seriously overreacted though, sorry about that.”

Steve shakes his head and props himself up with his arm, which draws attention to his bare chest. Jesus, have you been cuddling two half-naked men for the majority of the night? 

“Bucky was right, pain isn’t a contest. You don’t need to spare us anything just because you think that we’ve had it worse off and don’t need anything else on our shoulders. We care about you and we want to know what’s going on with you,” Steve says sincerely.

You don’t know what to say and are silent until Bucky speaks up from behind you, “I’m with Steve. I wanna know when you’re hurting. I wanna help ease the pain. It’s the least I can do after all the help you’ve given both of us.”

“Oh, you’re awake!” you squeak.

Bucky laughs and you can feel his breath on the nape of your neck. “Course I am. The two of you have been yammering on, how’s a man supposed to sleep with all of that racket?”

Steve grins. “Buck, we’ve only been talking for a couple of minutes.”

“Yammering,” Bucky insists.

Steve gives Bucky that look, the one that says he’s completely in love with the other man. you take it as your cue to get the hell out of there and save yourself more heartbreak. 

You try to sit up, but it’s kind of hard to do with Bucky’s right arm wrapped around your waist. Steve’s attention snaps to you, a kind of sad look on his face.

“Well, I think I’ve probably overstayed my welcome. I’ll, uh, try not to make this a habit. Sleeping in the same bed as you guys, that is. Can’t really help the nightmares,” you laugh a little awkwardly, wishing you would just shut your mouth and leave already.

“I could get used to waking up next to you, actually,” Bucky says softly.

You freeze. He couldn’t mean… No, he just means it in a friendly way. He is ridiculously in love with Steve and probably has no idea that you are ridiculously in love with the both of them. And you are. You are ridiculously, hopelessly in love with these two men and waking up in bed with them definitely did not help with that.

“What?” you say, eyes wide.

Steve frowns at Bucky, “Aw, Buck. This isn’t how we were going to do this.”

You feel Bucky shrug behind you. “Now is as good a time as any, given the situation.”

“I- I-  _ What _ ?” you ask, getting more confused by the second.

“Well, you should probably sit up for this conversation,” Steve says with a slightly pained look on his face.

“Okay?” you sit up, Bucky having now released his grip from around your waist, and eye the two men warily. You bring your knees up to your chest, almost like protection.

You can see Bucky now. His hair is a mess, long locks thoroughly mussed from sleep. He also has pillow creases on his face, which would be adorable if you weren’t anxious as hell right now. He has a small crease between his eyebrows, betraying his nervousness.

The two men sit up beside you and exchange a look. Bucky nods at Steve and the man sighs and starts talking.

“We’ve been friends for, what, a year and a half now?” Steve asks, looking at you and Bucky for confirmation. 

“Yeah, about,” you reply.

“The three of us have gotten really close in that time, too,” Steve continues.

You nod, “Yeah, you guys are some of my best friends.”

Bucky grins enthusiastically, “We think so, too. And we really care about you.”

“I care about you guys, too. Obviously. I wouldn’t have freaked out so much last night otherwise,” you reply, blushing a little bit and looking down at your lap.

Steve uses his finger to tip your chin up to look at him. “Hey, there’s no need to be embarrassed. Honestly, Bucky and I have had really similar nightmares.”

That surprises you. “Really?”

“You just haven’t heard about them because we always got through them together,” Bucky shrugs.

Ah, that makes sense. They don’t really need you. They have each other. That is how it has always been. You look back down at your lap.

“Hey, doll, look at me.” You look up at Bucky. “It isn’t because we don’t need you. Honestly, it’s because we didn’t want to worry you. Which, I guess sounds dumb because we’re telling you that you shouldn’t hide your problems from us for that exact reason.”

“But,” Steve starts, drawing out the word. “What we’re trying to say is that we really care about you. Actually, we love you.”

“We’re  _ in love _ with you,” Bucky clarifies.

“Oh,” you breath.

“We’ve been wanting to tell you for a while now actually,” Steve admits somewhat bashfully. “Just kinda been waiting for the right moment.”

“I, uh. Wow,” you exhale heavily.

“It’s a lot to take in, I know,” Bucky says. “If you need time-”

“No!” you shout abruptly. Both men freeze. “Sorry, I just. I’m in love with you both, too.”

Both men break into wide grins and you start to grin back. 

“I just kinda told myself it would never happen, I guess,” you admit. 

“Now why would you do something like that?” Bucky asks with a smirk. “Couldn’t you see us making eyes at you?”

“The rest of the team did,” Steve chuckles.

“I guess I was distracted by you making eyes at each other. And, you know, the fact that you guys are in a relationship and polyamory isn’t exactly the norm,” you reply with a shrug.

“Well, we want our relationship to include you, too. If you want, that is,” Steve says.

“Definitely!” you reply immediately.

Bucky grins and tackles them with a hug. You laugh and hug him back. Steve joins in, laughing and hugging you both.

“And to think I was about to panic and leave,” you say with a wry grin, face buried in Bucky’s neck. 

“Well, you don’t have to do that ever again if you don’t want to,” Steve replies. You can hear the soft smile in his voice.  


And, honestly? That sounds great to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for this story! My first two-shot ever, so be gentle. If the tone of the chapters are very different it is probably because they were written a LONG time apart. Pretty much all of the stuff written for this universe is stuff I've had archived forever and only just now go the courage to publish.   
> As always I would love to hear from you. It's best to contact me at pitchblackkoi.tumblr.com. I will try to answer any questions and respond to any requests you might have.

**Author's Note:**

> Title and chapter titles from Hallelujah by Panic! at the Disco  
> You all seemed to like the first story I posted so here is another. To clarify: Steve and Bucky are together but the reader isn't part of the relationship yet.  
> Part 2 should be out later this week. As always you can bug me about it at pitchblackkoi.tumblr.com. I will answer any and all questions or requests about/for this universe there.


End file.
